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Coretanku

Arash Khalefa Haqiqi

 Helloo.. I'm back. Semoga platform ini belum bersarang karena sudah lama ditinggal oleh pemiliknya. Pun berharap pembaca setianya belum pergi menuju antah berantah. Dunia menulis yang sudah sangat kurindukan. Kembali menjadi diriku dengan versi yang sepi dan sendiri. My latest update. Satu bulan dua puluh tiga hari menjadi ibu. Tubuhku benar-benar bukan milikku lagi. Ada sebagian dari aku yang kini menjadi milik manusia kecil yang juga tercipta dari sebagian tubuhku. Menjadi sosok baru yang sedang bertumbuh. Senang dan penuh haru rasanya menjadi sosok ibu baru. Tapi juga rasanya seperti ada kepingan mimpi lainnya yang semakin bias. Seperti sudah menjadi skenario paten di dunia ini bahwa yang datang akan pergi. Yang menetap, membuat yang tadinya ada akan beranjak meninggalkan. Aku kehilangan dunia lamaku, berganti menjadi bahwa dirikulah dunia bagi anakku. Jari-jari kecil yang saat ini sudah mulai belajar meraih dan menggenggam tanganku. Mata kecil yang berbinar menatapku dengan ta...

I was loneliest when I moved to Cairo

 

I had to pause for a little while after doing the previous thing because it just hit me that having a peaceful heart ia not as easy. A peaceful heart is something that I've been praying for especially after learning all these days before.

Let me start with my confession. I was naive to assume that I Will never have to feel a tinge of loneliness once I'm here with so many friends around. My heart needed its Creator, Allah. This was what happened to me when I first posted on social media about how amazing moving to Egypt, when deep inside I felt loneliest.

It is almost three years, Made me say good bye to family closest home that I learned that I am actually capable of being on my own. But then big-girl-wildah voiced boomed in my heart one day. "Oh come on! You are grown girl, who can be independent for yourself. Take this opportunity to get to know who you are! What do you want to do with your life?!"

Now, almost three years on, there is not a day that goes by where I do not look forward to just being on my own. To just spend time with my Rabb and to be grateful for everything that He jas blessed me with.

Its funny and also beautiful how Allah has planned it all for me. I was loneliest when I moved here. I had to move to a country where I knew no one, nor the language (Ammiyah). But today, I realised that I am fullest because Allah has taught me through my friends around when I learn to rely only Him in shaa Allah I Will always OK.

I pray may I find Allah and remember that I'm never truly alone.

Love+prayers always

Wilda~

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